Avoiding Bullying at School - Yes or No?

Teaching kids how to avoid bullying at school has become a very controversial subject. Many experts feel strongly that teaching kids to avoid bullying at any time is very wrong as it places the solution to the problem on the victim. I would certainly prefer that all children report the bullying for appropriate adult intervention. I also work in a school and understand that many kids will not report bullying and will continue to suffer in silence at the hands of mean children. So does that mean we don't reach out to them in some manner to help? I think it is my professional duty to teach kids all I can to equip them with the tools and information to help improve their day at school.

Bullying at lunch

Move your seat. Ask a friend to move with you. If you are not allowed to change seats, ask an adult if you can change it. If they say no, tell your parents so they can talk to the person in charge to get your seat changed. Sit close to an adult monitoring the lunchroom. Kids who bully can't do it near an adult so sit as close to one as you can. Be the first one to enter the lunchroom and the first one to leave! Don’t waste time in the halls when going to lunch or when getting back to class after lunch. Wasting time only gives kids who bully more opportunity to bother you.

Bullying on the bus

Sit near the front of the bus. Sitting close to the driver will make kids who bully think twice before doing it for fear of getting caught. Don’t stay silent. Unless you feel that another kid will physically attack you if you speak up, remaining completely silent while kids are harassing you will only give them reason to keep doing it. Try one of the following: Directly ask them to stop. Distract them by starting a different conversation that might interest them. Diffuse their attack by giving them some sign their words are harmless to you (“yeah, right!”) or try laughing along with them (even if you don’t think it’s funny). Sit with friends! There are strength in numbers. You are less likely to be singled out if you are sitting with others.

Bullying in the hallway

Always be aware of who is ahead of you. If you see a bully ahead of you, DON’T pass him or her because this gives the person an opportunity to bother you. Take your time and slow down a little so they get farther ahead of you. Always be aware of who is behind you. Don’t allow a bully to stay behind you in the hall. They will most likely follow you until you have reached a part of the school with no teachers around so they can bother you without fear of being caught. If you notice a bully behind you, stop and let them pass. Stop in to say hello to a teacher or go to the office or the nurses station to say hello. Go a different way when possible. If your school has a first and second floor you may have a choice of taking more than one way to class. Choose the safest way because even if the safest one is the longest one, it is worth the longer walk to prevent giving a bully an opportunity to bother you.

Bullying with electronic devices

Don’t respond to the IM, Email, Facebook or Myspace post or text message. Although it is very tempting to tell them off, it is not a good idea. This may actually cause more problems as the bully may take it as a challenge. Also remember that your posts can be used against you if they are harassing or threatening: be careful!
Report harassing IMs or Posts to AIM, Facebook or Myspace. If someone is making fun of you or is threatening you on AIM, block their screenname. Prevent harassers from getting to your Facebook or Myspace page by deleting them as a friend or changing your page settings. Print out any threatening or harassing messages! You can’t prove it is happening if you do not print out the evidence. Show the printed out message to your parents and/or school staff.

Getting bullied by popular kids

Don’t exchange insults with popular kids. This will only make them try harder to make you look bad in front of others. Try ignoring them when they are around other kids or agree with them to get them to stop: “You’re right, I’m a terrible basketball player.” Later when they are not around others, you can approach them to tell them to stop: “Hey, stop making fun of me in front of others, you wouldn’t like it if it was happening to you.” Don’t accept getting teased to fit in with the popular group! Some kids tolerate teasing to be accepted by a popular group of kids. If you are hoping they will stop teasing you as soon as they get to know you, it most likely will not happen. Don’t hesitate to report the bullying or harassment! Many popular kids are very concerned about remaining popular, not only among their classmates but among their teachers. Mention what is happening to a teacher or counselor you trust. An adult talking with a student in this situation may be enough to stop it.