Effectively Ignore Bullying

Many kids make the mistake of trying to completely ignore someone who is calling them names or making fun of you. Completely ignoring a bully is pretending you do not hear him while he is speaking to you. This strategy is common but never works and many parents unfortunately tell their kids to use this strategy. Why doesn't it work? The bully knows the you are purposely pretending you cannot hear him because what he is saying or doing bothers you. So what happens then? The bully is more likely to do it over and over as long asa you keep pretending you can't hear him. So what do you do?


Use selective ignoring. Respond to the bully's words with a short comeback line that is not an insult. Look him in the eye and say the line ("Who cares") and THEN and only then begin to completely ignore the his words. This sends the bully the message that his words or actions will not bother you(even if they do bother you, you still have to make him think it doesn't). Make sure the comeback is appropriate: no name calling or put-downs because this will challenge the bully and he will more likely continue the harassment. If at anytime a bully is threatening to beat you up do not use this strategy. Completely ingnore his challenge and report the threat to an adult.

Also remember to try your best not to immediately scream "Shut-up!" after a kid bullied you. As stated above this is exactly what the bullies want. So after you have asked a kid several times to stop harassing you and he doesn't stop, it’s time to be more assertive. Being assertive means sticking up for yourself and telling someone to stop doing whatever mean thing they are saying or doing to you. Being assertive DOES NOT mean being aggressive and starting a fight and screaming "shut-up!". Here are some examples of being assertive in these situations:



"I’ve given you enough chances to stop this. Stop now or I'll report it."



"You are not getting it – I said enough already."



"That was kind of funny at first but now it's not - please stop it."