Bullying Can Get You Fired - Ask Imus

The firing of Don Imus for his racist comment directed toward the Rutger's Women's Basketball Team has a lot to do about bullying. In the days following the national media attenion his comment created, Imus responded to a caller with the following statement (paraphrased) "It was stupid and insensitive and I don't know why I said it."

Of course everyone knew why he said it, right? Because he is a racist, pure and simple. That makes sense, doesn't it? Well, I for one don't know that to be a fact. In my opinion, what is really in a person's heart is only something that person knows as fact. What I can tell you is this:

Don Imus is a bully, pure and simple and his bullying is what got him fired, whether or not he is a racist.

Why? Because bullying is all about power, the power you have over others and how you choose to use that power. Don Imus gained a power advantage with his celebrity and he subsequently used his radio show as a forum to bully others. When someone becomes aware that he or she has a power advantage over others, that person, just like Imus, faces an important decision:

Do I use this imbalance of power to help or hurt others?

Imus did both, but just because you choose to help others sometimes does not make it right to use your power to bully others at any times. Imus became an empowered bully, which is the most dangerous type. He was empowered by his employers, who instead of imposing a graduated discipline procedure when his bullying first reared its ugly head, they turned their own heads because this big bully was making them big money. If a principal turns his head when a school board member's kid is a bully, that kid will become an empowered bully and walk the halls and torture kids like he owned the school. The airways turned out to be Imus' halls. So The Imus in the Morning show was permitted to develop a climate in which bullying, especially biased based bullying, was accepted.

It was while operating on automatic pilot during his show, a show whose climate accepted bullying others based on race, religion, gender, and more, which ultimately sealed Imus' fate. When he told that caller he did not know why he said it, I tend to believe him. He said it on he air because his show's climate cultivated such commets. He said it because he could. Like so many bullies in our schools today, Imus made those hurtful comments simply because he could - or at least up to that moment he could.

So this is the lesson for Imus and bullies like him: you can't have your cake and eat it, too. You can't bully others and then try to wiggle out of consequences by telling others the good things you have done. That's like a school bully who has been suspended for intimdating kids to get their lunch money, and then tries to get a lesser sentance with this plea to the principal: "But I gave half of what I took to a kid who doesn't have any money to buy lunch, sir, so you see I really am a good person."

This is an important lesson for our kids: Bullies are not nice people. Bullies can do nice things, which is great, but nice people do not bully, period. Contrary to Don Imus' contention on his radio show, he is not a good person, at least in this counselor's opinion. He is a bully who also did some real good things. But that's not enough to evade the consequences of using your power to hurt others, whether by actions or words. Hopefully, Imus will see this consequence for what it is: a lesson on character that was long overdue. Maybe then he can start over and use his celebrity power to just help others, not hurt.