About Me

I'm presently the Student Assistance Coordinator at Middletown High School South in Middletown, NJ. I have worked in public schools in this capacity for the last 20 years. I am also a NJ Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC LCADC) with a private therapy practice in Morganville specializing in the treatment of substance abuse and anger management problems. My style is direct and motivational and is a result of my combined experiences as a therapist and high school football coach. I published the self-help book 4 Downs to Anger Control in 1999 which uses football as a metaphor to facilitate the teaching and retention of anger management skills to specialized populations. 4 Downs to Anger Control was the text selected by the Florida International University Football Team to use following the nationally televised fight with the University of Miami in 2006 as an educational tool. The book has also been purchased by NFL teams for player development programs and by the NJ Department of Corrections for inmate life skills education. My career focus has also been in the area of bullying prevention and intervention, and my website Bullystoppers.com has been operational since 2001. This site offers schools, students and parents a free reporting tool and plenty of advice and specialized skills for students. My football coaching experience has amassed 21 seasons as a Defensive Coordinator. My teams have been to 6 State Championship Games and we were fortunate to win 3 State Titles.

Drive on Your Problems in Life

Changing how you mentally approach an issue may be all you need to get started on a solution. In my therapy practice I often rely on my football coaching experience to motivate men who eat, drink and sleep the game. If you see life through a football face mask, then start living it that way and watch how things begin to fall into place! 

Not Sure if You Have a Problem? Your Life Hierarchy of Substance Use May Help

Sometimes actually looking at how your life is prioritized on a piece of paper or a white board can help you understand the severity of your substance use. For example, let's look at a general life hierarchy of an individual how does not have an issue with substances:

1. Family
2. Job
3. Friends
4. Health
6. Hobbies
7. Alcohol/Drug Use

The theory is that generally this list is set and it is rare that something lower on the list will trump something higher on the list. For example, this individual will generally not allow alcohol/drug use to interfere with family, job, friends, etc. The individual abusing substances, however, will find that alcohol/drug use begins to move up the list as it progresses and becomes more important in the individual's life.  For example, the following is the Life Hierarchy of an individual suffering from a severe addiction:

1. Job
2. Alcohol/Drug Use
3. Family
4. Friends

Individuals suffering from addiction typically have their job and addiction switch back and forth from first and second position on the list depending on how bad their addiction becomes at any given time in their life. The visual of the list helps individuals denying the severity of their addiction come to understand that their use comes before their family at all costs. This is a very emotional conclusion and ideally this exercise should be discussed in a therapeutic setting with a therapist trained in addiction and the associated fragile emotions that accompany it. It is vitally important to understand that the list does not lie. An honest evaluation of your life's hierarchy can be vital in raising your bottom and getting on the road to recovery before suffering further consequences due to your use. THINK about it.